Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
