even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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