yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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