giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
