It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
