so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
