Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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