all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
