Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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