margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
