Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
