Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
