I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
