I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize