i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize