hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
