there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize