Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
