How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize
