I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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