She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
