Define "chronic" masturbator.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
