Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
