Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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