Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
