You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
