he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize