she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize