we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
