You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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