literally had 100 drinks last night.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
