check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
