Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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