well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
