is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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