i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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