dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
