when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
