Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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