You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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