dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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