he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
