I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
