Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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