I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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