i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
