just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
