im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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