READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize