Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The uberlube is also flammable
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
