I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
