He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
