Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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