STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
