I am puke
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Randomize
