Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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