OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
