What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
