He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
