How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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