she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
