his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
BRING THE BAGELS
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
