From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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