Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
