just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
