Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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